Here We Go Again

So my beautiful fiance, the lovely Miss Kristine Czarnomski has begun to lose weight. Now I did not request this of her as she has always been beautiful in my eyes. Also, being a man of 250+ lbs., I have no business asking anybody to lose weight. However, she informed me the other day that we have just 6 months before our wedding and apparently, we are supposed to look our best for that day.

Now, I have the reverse thinking when it comes to this weight loss for the sake of life landmark events. The reason is because there's going to be a lot of pictures being taken. Now I realize that most of you are thinking that you should always look your best for pictures. My problem with this is that say, I'm showing you a picture of me from 5 years ago where not only am I looking younger than I am now, but I'm also looking better in the picture. You're first thought is going to be, "Oh how sad that Dave has let himself go." However, if I look bad in that picture, then you're natural reaction is to give me praise for how much better I look now and thus I will feel very good about life in the now rather than longing for the days when I looked better. I'll admit...not the best philosophy I've ever had.

Oh, and one more thing. If you grab a picture of yourself from 5 years ago and you think about how good you looked back then..., you know darn well you didn't feel that good back then. Odds are that the second after that picture was developed (for you youngin's, that was something we used to have to do in order to see our pictures), you looked at that picture and thought there was something wrong with it. Whether you thought you needed to lose weight or you weren't thrilled with how your facial skin was represented or you just didn't like the angle, odds are you had no problems finding flaws and saw a need for improvement. Now, 5 years later, you look at that same picture and long for the days when you looked that good.

So whatever...I'm going to long with this. Long story short, I'm am now excersizing again. Oh joy.

So I went to the NY Sports Club down the street because I thought the best thing to do would be to join a gym. I was mistaken. Ya know, the whole rap on the gym thing is pretty much bullshit. I mean, sure, there's a small percentage of people who really want to train their bodies on a regular basis so that they can be all they can be. Those people are the exception to the rule. For the rest of us, it's like..."Hi there. I've spent my life eating way too much food and not really doing a lot of moving around. Also, I like to drink and as we all know, light beer is for wusses. It's come to my attention that if I looked more like Tom Cruise and less like...well, me...that my life would be so much better. So uhhh...what do I need to do and how much is that going to cost me?"

That's the real question we're all asking. We don't care about all that other stuff. It's all just a bunch of fluffy words. Cardiovascular? What am I, a friggin doctor over here? I don't need to know that word. What I need is the information so that I can get that call from People magazine where the guy says, "Hay uh Dave. We're getting ready to put out our annual sexiest man alive issue and we were wondering if you were available."

The truth is gyms can't give you that information. They don't have it. At least they don't have anything that you don't already know. You need to eat less and excersize more. That's it. That's all you have to do. And in the end, you will look the best that you are capable of.

But of course, they can't just tell you that. No, they gotta do some other stuff. They gotta take some tests. They gotta check your blood pressure and measure the amount of fat you have and weigh you on their special body mass measuring tool...I think they call it a scale. They gotta set you up with a trainer who specializes in giving you the direction you need on how to lift some things that are heavy. It's too bad cash doesn't weigh very much as you would lose a ton of weight based on how much of it gyms and trainers take out of your back pocket.

So anyway, I have a LifeFitness eliptical cross trainer and I have some weights and last time I checked, you don't need a machine to do situps (although, I am aware that they do have machines to do "crunches"). I've decided to work with the tools that I have to start my journey down the path towards excellent good lookingness. After a couple of weeks, I'll decide what I want to do to move forward.

Here are the tunes I listened to while I spent an hour on the cross trainer today. The image to the left is the cd insert that iTunes created for this mix.






Rhythm Nation - Janet Jackson
Monkey Wrench - Foo Fighters
Eat You Alive - Limp Bizkit
Pipeline - Anthrax
When I'm President - Extreme
Gold Digger - Kanye West ft Jamie Foxx
Get It Poppin' - Fat Joe ft. Nelly
Sugar, We're Goin Down - Fall Out Boy
Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani
This Is How A Heart Breaks - Rob Thomas
St. Jimmy - Green Day
Come Clean - Hilary Duff (OK so I'm not proud but I like this song.)
La Tortura - Shakira Featuring Alejandro Sanz
Mosh - Eminem
Alive - P.O.D.

In other news, Kristine, her brother-in-law Curtis, Tim Beeber and I are going to Bridgeport this evening to see the Nicks play the Nets in an exhibition basketball game. Very exciting. Talk 2 u soon.

Dave